Just yesterday, I was in a Bazaar with my mom shopping. While my mom was busy looking at different things I noticed different salesmen and customers who’d all nearly have the same set of dialogues to say to nearly every other customer and/or shopkeepers.If, by any chance you’re wondering how come I being a girl was least interested in shopping and more interested in noticing the others’ dialogues then let me tell you, I’m not really interested in shopping and roaming about in Bazaars like complete fools ..unless of course the shopping is being done for me which was so not the case this time. Anyway, so here are some statements that I noticed:
Lady Customer: Ye kitne ka diya hai bhai?
Salesman: 1200
Lady Customer: Kia keh rahe hain bhai? Itne ziaada? Is se kam mein tou paposh mein mil jaata hai. (I wonder what the salesmen think when women say that. I think that they think ‘phir waheen se le lein yahaan kiun hamara waqt zaya kar rahi hain’. Wese, I’ve even heard some rude salesmen say that aloud.)
***
Lady Customer: Dekhein 2000 tou buhot ziaada hain munasib rate lagayein.
Salesman: Dekhein baji aap purani customer hain aapse tou customers waali baat hi nahi hai.(Tou phir kesi baat hai? :O )
***
Salesman: Chalein na aapki na meri 1700 de dein.
Customer: Kia baat kar rahe hain? Itne ziaada nahi dungi bas 1500 lagayeinge tou batayein.
Salesman: Nahi nahi baji itna ka tou humein nahi milta maal.
Customer: Acha chorein phir. Chalo Sara chalo.
Salesman: Acha chalein baji 1600 karlete hain.
Customer: (Stops. Looks at him for a minute or two) Acha chalein de dein.(Haha, exactly what the customer wanted! Rooth ke jaane lago khud hi manane ke liye pese kam karde ga. 
)
)
***
Random shopkeeper to a passing woman: Aunty ayein idhar dekh lein.The woman: (Turns around and gives him the look that says, ‘you call me an aunty again and you’re dead Mister’)
***
Random pathan shopkeeper: Baji yaahaan aa ke dekh lo. Zaalim kapra hai baji.(Seriously? Zaalim? Eh?)
***
Two lady Customers to one another: Abhi matching wale se iski shalwar ka kapra lena hai phir iske dupatte ko rangne dena aur upar se tailor jhoote ne sana ke mehndi ka jora bhi ab tak see ke nahi diya.
The other one: Aray yeh tailor saare hi aese hote hain. Mera bhi bhai ki shaadi ka jora ain waqt pe diya tha woh bhi dheela.(Aur phir tailor becharay ki buraiyan shuru..)
***
A small kid to his dad: Baba, mujhe yeh toy dila dein na.
Dad: Abhi us hi din tou tumne naya aesa toy kharida tha.
Kid: Wo pata nahi kahin gum gaya hai.
Dad: Nahi guma hoga kahin. Ghar mein dhoondo mil jayega.
(Kid starts crying) Kid: Mujhe ye chahiye!
Dad: Mana kardia na chalo ab foran.
Kid: Nahi chalunga.
(Dad starts dragging him away) Dad: Wese bhi yeh bilkul bekaar hai mein tumhe acha waala laake dunga. (Salesman in his mind ‘Kia matlab bekaar hai? Mere maal ki burai woh bhi mere mun pe?’)
***
Customer: Nahi chorein aap buhot mehenga bata rahe hain. (And then walks away) Some minutes later.. (Returns) Customer: Acha kitne ka bataya tha aapne?
Shopkeeper: 750.
Customer: Acha chalein de dein. Wese aap hamesha aap apni baat manwaate hain.
Shopkeeper: *evil smile* (Inside his mind, ‘I win!’)
***
Random thelay wale selling churiyan: ‘KumKum ki churiyan! Kashish ki churiyan! Ayein baji idhar dekh lein. KumKum ki, Kashish ki, Parvati ki churiyan!’(Eh? Seriously? Are you nuts? Get a life dude.
***
In a shoe shop. Customer: Woh waala dikhayie ga bari heel waala. Nahi nahi woh nahi. Woh silver wala. Haan haan woh
Salesman: (looks up and shouts) 26 ka colour 35 dena!
(26 ka colour 35? :S What type of a language is that?)
-By Alvina Ahmed @ Karachi Tips
No comments:
Post a Comment